Who would be a mother in Emmerdale?
Half the time you’re guaranteed your child will turn into a sexual-deviant-meets-serial-killer with a penchant for drones and stalking.
But this lot are worse than your standard mummy-issues villains.
Nothing like taking after your dead dad in Soapland to become a villain, eh?
Noah might not have spent much time with his awful dad Chris Tate – but he definitely got his genes and disturbing personality.
Add to that the endless hell that must be being raised – dragged up – by Charity Dingle and there’s no wonder Noah is a future serial killer in the making.
He makes Norman Bates look quite reasonable.
X Factor sob stories have nothing on Cain Dingle.
Never mind Abel, Cain’s entire adult misbehaviour is the fault of his mother Faith.
The thug, groomer and paedophile has never taken responsibility for a single thing he’s done – and he’s done some vile things.
Cain’s not just pathetic – he’s downright evil.
Jamie started off as such a kind, decent man – and then just two years around his mother and he was a stone cold sociopath.
Treating little bunnies at the vets? Nah, let’s frame an ex for attempted murder instead.
For a man so determined to stand on his own two feet, it took nothing more than a flash of a cheque book before Kim turned him into mini me.
And now he’s off in the world having faked his own death. Can’t wait for him to return. Well, actually we can…
For any sane woman in Emmerdale, Lachlan White would be a warning about what could happen.
The spoiled little son of Chrissie White turned into a predatory sex offender, stalker and terroriser of women before jumping head first into the lake known as Soapland Serial Killer.
Of course the terminally annoying Chrissie defended him to the hilt – sometimes higher.
And for her troubles – she got killed by him.
Emmerdale usually airs weeknights at 7.30pm on ITV, with an hour-long episode on Thursdays.
Leave us a comment on our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix and let us know what you think!