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ED!’s Celebrity Predictions for 2022 – tongue firmly in cheek

Hey, who knows what could happen?!

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Well, that’s another year out of the way. And what a 12 months it’s been in the world of showbiz.

Piers Morgan stormed out of Good Morning Britain after a row with weatherman Alex Beresford over Meghan Markle.

Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary replaced Ruth and Eamonn on the This Morning couch.

Harry and Meghan blew up the royal family after an explosive chinwag with Oprah Winfrey.

And we said farewell to some beloved stars such as Nikki Grahame and Sarah Harding.

So what can we expect from 2022?

Entertainment Daily takes a look into its crystal ball to see what we might see happen over the next 12 months.

Catherine, Duchess Of Cambridge to become Princess Of Pop!

Kate Middleton Arrives At The Royal Variety Performance
Kate Middleton looks set to be a chart topper (Credit: SplashNews.com)

Following her musical collab with beardy rocker Tom Walker, royal hat-stand K-Middy will find herself being offered a million-pound record deal by Simon Cowell.

Debut single would either be a cover of Royals by Lorde, Abba’s Dancing Queen or a regal reworking of Musical Youth’s reggae classic Pass The Duc-hess (On The Left Hand Side!).

Meghan and Harry produce a new Diana musical to win over public

Harry and Meghan to produce controversial West End musical (Credit: SplashNews)

Read more: Down Abbey character killed off in 2022 film A New Era

In an attempt to win over the British public, the divisive Ms Markle will produce and star in a controversial West End musical about her late mother-in-law.

Di Another Day is a heart-warming Sliding Doors-style tale about what might have happened if the Princess of Hearts hadn’t got into that limo in Paris.

Meghan will play Diana, Harry, the role of James Hewitt, while the villain of the piece – a gagged Piers Morgan – will be played by a big slab of pink sweaty ham!

Breaking with theatre tradition, Harry will invite no journalists whatsoever to the press night.

The show will close after its first night.

Matt Hancock turns game show host

It is claimed the gathering occurred following a press conference with Matt Hancock
Sexy Matt Hancock will pitch OAPs against each other to win their own luxury retirement home – or face going back to a Covid-riddled nursing home (Credit: SplashNews.com)

Disgraced former cabinet train-spotter Matt Hancock will land himself a hosting gig on a Netflix game show called Home Sweet Care Home.

In it, a group of pensioners are set a series of tough physical and mental challenges in the hope of winning a luxury home in a retirement village.

At the end of each episode the bottom two try to navigate an obstacle course to get their hands on their pension.

The winner carries on in the competition, while the loser is mini-bussed back to an underfunded, Covid-riddled care home in Scunthorpe run by anti-vax carers.

Simon Cowell dreams up yet another competition show

Simon Cowell led to tributes to Il Divo singer Carlos Marin
Simon dreams up another competition show (Credit: SplashNews.com)

Never one to let a telly flop like Walk The Line put him off pitching ITV the same tired old format, Simon Cowell will shamelessly launch Judge or Be Judged, a brand new back-slapping competition show that will determine who the nation’s most popular telly judge is!

Each week, the likes of Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden, David Walliams and Louis Walsh will be pitted against each other in a series of challenges that will test their spontaneity, wit and ability to offer genuinely supportive advice and look like they mean it.

At the end of each episode, the bottom two will be asked to deliver as many cutting put downs and cliched comments they can think in 30 seconds.

The victor will secure a place on the show’s judging panel, bumping an existing one off, who will then have to prove themselves the following week to regain their seat!

HOWEVER, a week before the show goes to air, Simon will realise it’s a big dull unwatchable dud and will do a hasty runner. The show will be axed and never seen again!

Adele lands her own sitcom

Alan Carr
Adele to land her own sitcom (Credit: ITV)

Noting that viewers of her An Audience With… show were more tickled by her comedy patter than her dreary balladeering, TV chiefs will offer the singing sensation her own musical sitcom The Adele Adkins Show.

Set in LA and Tottenham, the show will focus on Adele trying to find love after heartache in LA. Alan Carr will play her gay best friend and a soundtrack of schmaltzy lighter-wavers will be available at the end of each series.

Gemma Collins quits showbiz!

Gemma Collins Instagram
Gemma Collins to quit telly (Credit: SplashNews.com)

Having appeared on I’m A Celeb, Dancing On Ice, This Morning, The Xtra Factor, Celebs Go Dating, The Wheel, Celebrity Masterchef, MTV Cribs, The Weakest Link, Celebrity Supply Teacher, Rolling In It, Shopping With Keith Lemon, 8 Out Of Ten Cats, All Together Now, The Crystal Maze, Sink Or Swim, Splash, I’ll Get This, Your Face Or Mine, Re-Freshers Week, 100% Hotter, Celebrity Big Brother, Safeword, Keep It In The Family, Who’s Doing The Dishes, ITN Lunchtime News, The Sky At Night, Panorama and The Autopsy, Gemma Collins realises there are no more shows for her to appear on and effs off back to Essex! Without, thank God, a camera crew in tow.

Hollyoaks becomes the first TV show to launch its own adult fan page!

Spurred on by the success of Sarah Jane Dunn’s flesh-flashing OnlyFans channel, crafty Hollyoaks execs decide to set up their own adult channel where they can post all the sleazy, exploitative glamour shots they’ve taken of their sexy cast over the past twenty years for the bargain price of £9.99 a month – with free wet wipes for the first 100 subscribers.

Holly Willoughby gets cloned

holly willoughby
Is there enough Holly on the telly? (Credit: ITV)

Desperate to keep Holly Willoughby happy and loyal, ITV offers to clone their golden goose so she’s able to appear on TV shows seven days a week.

So expect to see her on ITN news, standing in for Peston, dragging her fam onto Family Fortunes and being killed off in one of ITV’s gritty crime dramas.

ITV launches desperate search for new stars

piers morgan and susanna reid news
ITV bosses seek new stars after their ITV Family are struck down by a celebrity staring of COVID (Credit: Splash)

After ITV’s roster of stars (Holly Willoughby, Phil Schofield, Ant & Dec, the cast of Loose Women, Alison Hammond, Joel Dommett, Emma Willis, Keith Lemon, Bradley Walsh, The Chasers, anyone off I’m A Celeb) are struck down with a new celebrity strain of Covid at the annual ITV Palooza, telly chiefs realise they’ve been relying on the same old faces for far too many years and actually decide to risk and begin employing fresh new faces.

Boris Johnson to appear on Long Lost Families 

Boris Johnson has not indicated yet whether there will be New Year restrictions in the UK
Boris Johnson will be reunited with his legion of love children  (Credit: ITV News YouTube)

Father to many a nipper, the PM takes time out from running the country (into the ground) to seek out all the children he’s sired.

To accommodate the seven kids we believe he has brought into this world, the show will be stripped across an entire week.

Strictly to book the least famous celebrity line up ever!

Bookies announce favourite to get the boot from Strictly this weekend as finale nears
Does Strictly need celebs?  (Credit: BBC)

Smug in the belief that the smash hit show is bigger than any of its stars, Strictly’s series booker will ditch the idea of wooing household names and instead trawl obscure digital channels and YouTube for participants in the 2022 line-up. Just like they did in 2021. And 2020. Oh and 2019!

ITV to produce Squid Games: The Game Show

Ant and Dec on I'm A Celebrity 2021
Ant & Dec are facing complaints over their remarks on I’m A Celebrity 2021 (Credit: ITV)

Read more: Top crime dramas on BBC One in 2022

Inspired by the success of the Korean Netflix drama Squid Games, ITV launches a wicked new game show that takes the I’m A Celeb humiliation format to the extreme.

Hosted by telly faves Ant & Dec, viewers will get to watch their least favourite stars fighting for survival as they take part in a series of life or death physical challenges.

First line-up of the show is tipped to include several interchangeable members of TOWIE, that David Potts off of Ibiza Weekender, Joey Essex and any of the Real Housewives.

Forget Youth TV – this is euthanasia TV!

So what do YOU think could happen in 2022? Share your celebrity predictions our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix and let us know what you think!


Christian Guiltenane
Freelance Writer