It’s been a devastating few months for actress Holly Matthews, what with having to watch her beloved husband Ross Blair die from a brain tumour.
But as if dealing with her own personal grief wasn’t hard enough, the former Waterloo Road and Casualty star, 32, has had to face another set of challenges.
She’s had to explain to the couple’s two young daughters – Brooke, six, and Texas, four – what was happening to their father.
And appearing on Lorraine this morning – her first TV interview since the tragedy – brave Holly revealed that she felt “terrified” and “sick” about having to break the news to the little girls.
Though property developer Ross was first diagnosed with the rare grade-4 primitive neuroectodermal tumour (PNET) in 2014, specialists initially managed to remove 75 per cent of the cancer.
However, soon after the family enjoyed a holiday in the Caribbean in May of this year, Ross suffered a seizure and was admitted to Myton Hospices in Warwickshire, his health deteriorating rapidly.
That left Holly with a terrible dilemma – what to tell their two daughters…
Holly revealed to Lorraine that she sought strength from Jeff Brazier, who was thrust into a similar situation when his former partner Jade Goody died of cancer in 2009, leaving him to bring up their two young sons on his own.
“He gave me the confidence,” said the Geordie actress. “He said: ‘You must tell them, they need to say goodbye.'”
Read more: Casualty actress Holly Matthews shares tragic news about her husband
She continued: “They knew but it wasn’t something tangible. What does brain cancer mean to a four- and a six-year-old?
“I had the feeling that I needed to tell them. I was waiting to pull the rug from under them.
“I was terrified to tell them. I felt sick, but I knew with brain cancer you deteriorate – we might not have got the chance where Ross would act appropriately.
“When we did tell them, my six-year-old went: ‘Just say it.’ She knew.
“And [Ross] responded appropriately. He said he loved them and gave them a cuddle. Even though he wasn’t connected fully, it was enough.”
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Sadly, Ross lost his battle in July. And suddenly, Holly was faced with having to tell the girls that their Daddy wouldn’t be coming back.
She told Lorraine that she was reluctant to tell them “Daddy’s gone to sleep”, so instead opted to say that his body had “stopped working”.
Of course, all the while she was trying to comfort her daughters, Holly was suffering herself.
And she admitted that she wouldn’t have been able to cope if it weren’t for Brooke and Texas.
“They force me to walk throughout the grief,” she said. “I have to be brave for them because they need me to be brave.”