The Apprentice 2022 group shot
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OPINION: The Apprentice isn’t about the future of business – it’s about exposing morons!

And that's exactly why I'm watching it these days

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We’re three weeks into the latest series of The Apprentice and the same question comes to mind that I ask myself every year.

What exactly am I watching?

Is it still a high brow series showcasing the great business minds of the future?

Lord Alan Sugar takes aim at BBC over scheduling of The Apprentice
Alan, Karren and Tim are back to oversee this year’s bunch of show-offs (Credit: BBC)

Or is it just another mindless reality show where attention-seeking dumbo candidates are decked out in office-wear trying to out-stupid their competition?

Well if this new series of the veteran show is anything to go by, it’s most definitely the latter.

In fairness, it’s not exactly a surprise, as over the years we’ve seen more and more numb skulls being cast for the ravenous Lord Sugar to tear strips off of.

But this year the casting team appear to have outdone themselves in selecting the most witless and arrogant bunch of no hopers viewers have ever seen.

Lord Alan Sugar blasts the BBC at scheduling
The candidates on their disastrous first task (Credit: BBC)

The Apprentice candidates are chancers

Of course, it goes without saying, that I adore each and every single one of them.

Because, in spite of their utter uselessness, they still have the gall, the gumption, the audacity to think they’re the next Richard Branson.

I have developed a weird love-hate affection for them.

Although we’ve only seen a tiny glimpse of the contestants so far, what the show has proved – like previous series – is that we are continuing to breed a nation of vacuous, inexperienced imbeciles who mistake ‘talking the talk’ for genuine skills and talent.

Perhaps our current government, who’ve carved out surprisingly successful careers by waffling their way through life and exhibiting no grasp on reality whatsoever, inspired this year’s Sugar Babies.

Right Mr Hancock?

Right Boris?

covid latest news uk
Has Boris and his motley cabinet inspired the Apprentice candidates? (Credit: Splashnews)

You see, like watching politicians being put through the wringer on Good Morning Britain, the smug know-it-alls on The Apprentice 2022, foolishly think they can pull the wool over the eyes of the savvy and jaded industry experts they are put in front of.

It really is excruciating and delicious to watch these buffoons employ their inappropriate sixth form theatrics in trying to sell their products to people who do this job in their sleep.

Read more: Evicted Apprentice candidate Harry claims he was robbed

I can only imagine how horrified these business types must feel when they have the misfortune to watch these bolshy, showy, inexperienced morons in action and realise to their horror that they represent a large section of young people today.

Akeem in The Apprentice
Akeem managed to muck up on the very first task dreaming up a hideous logo for a cruise liner (Credit: BBC)

The Apprentice challenge disasters

How the likes of financial strategy manager Akeem Bundu Akara got away with that now notorious green and brown turd logo for the cruise ship task in episode one is anyone’s guess.

And as for flight operations officer Aaron Willis’s sh*t-stick of a wand for the toothbrush task in week two…

No wonder day nursery owner Shama Amin – the only candidate to show any promise – quit the show.

Physical ailments aside, the biggest pain she must have been suffering from was to live and breathe with this shameless shower of shite.

Shama in The Apprentice
Shama quit the show due to ill health (Credit: BBC)

What’s clear from watching this mob of gobby chancers making a pig’s ear of every task, is that they are severely lacking in common sense or any self-awareness whatsoever.

But sadly, that’s the world we live in – a place that celebrates attention seekers and influencers who have more followers than braincells, which is absolutely terrifying.

What kind of future can we look forward to when self-obsessed boys, girls and those who identify as neither base their notion of success on being popular rather than developing a skill or a talent?

Read more: Lord Sugar slams the BBC for the scheduling of The Apprentice

Influencer wannabes not business brains

I blame shows of old such as The X Factor and Big Brother for a rise in people’s narcissism (isn’t that what fuels YouTubers and Tik Tokkers?).

But for also encouraging people to believe that the path to success or fame is easy to achieve without the hard graft.

But that’s a whole other article – let’s get back to The Apprentice.

Yes, the candidates may be the worst kind of human beings (in the context of the show of course – I’m sure they’re lovely people in real life) but they make it all the more fun to watch.

There’s something deeply fascinating about watching the sledgehammer tongue of Lord Sugar chip away at these unlikeable individuals’ bravado as he keenly exposes them for the frauds they are.

Alan Sugar brother
It’s joyous to watch Lord Sugar tear strips off the candidates (Credit: FremantleMedia Ltd)

And that is ultimately the most satisfying aspect of watching The Apprentice – it gives people like me, who have spent years watching people with big gobs and little idea of anything else go far, the satisfaction of seeing these showboaters exposed for what they really are.

Long may The Apprentice continue so we can laugh at the shameless show-offs and the idiots – but producers, do us one favour.

Please can we have a more diverse range of ages, as there’s a danger that the show will become just a suited and booted Love Island.

And this show is better than that!

The Apprentice continues Thursday, 9pm on BBC One

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