Fans of Olivia Attwood already know the reality star has very little filter on Olivia Meets Her Match. But once she gets a few drinks inside her, there’s literally NOTHING she won’t share.
She might just be regretting telling her best friends – and her ITVBe viewers – what footballer fiancé Bradley Dack makes her do in bed, though.
That retch-inducing moment and more highlights from last night’s show!
Hungover Olivia in a wedding panic
She’d been waiting weeks to see her wedding planner Julie, thanks to lockdown restrictions.
And Olivia prepared for the big meeting by… getting absolutely hammered the night before.
She felt so rough, driving was off the menu for fear she was still drunk, and she slummed it in an Uber instead.
Still managing to look Insta-perfect, Olivia was worried that Julie would smell the vodka. (Don’t worry, Liv, it’s odourless!)
The bride-to-be pepped up as she discussed her wedding and even agreed to consider tying the knot in the UK, after being set on her dream location of Portugal for so long.
As long as it’s not a stately home and there are no orange bricks, red carpet, wood or oil paintings. Riiiiiiiight.
And the first venue she viewed? A stately home with wooden panelling and oil paintings everywhere. Course it was…
Olivia invents a new word
Even if she was prepared to rethink everything she hates (it does after all account for approximately 92% of wedding venues in the UK), there was one thing that put her right off.
Something so awful she described it as heinous – or in her words “H-A-N-U-S”… a snarling big dog with other dogs hanging off her tits. Must have felt like a flashback to Love Island…
The rain wasn’t helping her mood, but she declined the offer of an umbrella as it didn’t match her outfit. Fair!
Olivia’s wonky eyebrow
While, there’s no date for the big day yet, Olivia was still pulling out all stops to keep looking her best.
At Dr Selina’s surgery, Olivia said she wanted to keep things snatched, tight and right for the wedding. (She was talking about her face…)
Her jawline was then attacked by what looked like a red-hot stapling gun. She then asked for the doctor to sort out one of her eyebrows which, she claimed, looked lower on Insta.
Despite being an angry red, Olivia appeared happy as she was ordered out before asking for any more filler for her lips.
Olivia gleefully revealed she planned to grow old disgracefully regardless of what the trolls say.
“The people who write these comments live in their mum’s basement, sitting in boxes covered in Wotsit dust,” she scoffed.
As putdowns go, this even surpassed Kate Moss’ ‘basic b*tch’.
‘Kids hate me!’
After heading to London for a magazine shoot in which she opened up about living with ADHD for the first time, Olivia got back on it with some fellow Blackburn United gal pals for an afternoon booze-up.
One of them brought along her young daughter who paid no attention to Olivia whatsoever even when she drops the F-bomb in front of her.
She reckoned that kids just don’t like her much – but she doesn’t care as they ‘don’t speak English and they don’t have the same interests as her’.
She doesn’t love Portugal for the men, then…
But when the other mums in the group reveal that they lost hair, teeth and were sick during pregnancy, she is adamant that she won’t be having kids for some time to come.
Later that night Olivia called Brad from the next room demanding joined her in bed.
She then initiated a weird form of foreplay by whipping out her note pad and asking him if there’s anything he wanted for the big day.
He proceeded to grab the pad and drew a massive willy. There’s still time to change your mind, Liv!
Not only is Olivia trying to plan a wedding this series, she and Brad are also looking find a new home.
So next we saw them viewing a swanky £1,625000 pile that, she’d already been warned, looked pretty underwhelming from the outside.
But on exploring, the couple warmed to it, with Olivia quipping something about it having a rubbish front but an impressive back view – the exact opposite of her. We doubt her back view gets many complaints!
Georgia revealed that she’s just got ‘new t*ts’, which provided the girls with the perfect excuse to order a round of shots and toast the perky pair.
Which they do! A lot.
Inevitably, the conversation came back to Olivia’s wedding.
She warned the girls they have to make sure she doesn’t drink before the ceremony in case she ends up slut dropping down the aisle.
Midway through their conversation, Brad dropped her a text.
She told the girls he’d sent her a pic of his throbbing, er, piece.
She was only joking. (We think.)
He’d actually asked if she’d like him to run a bath for her for when she got home. (Translation? Are you gonna be in a fit state for sex?)
Anyway, this led to some bedroom chat in which Olivia revealed that Brad loves her calling him Daddy and shouts out during sex, “Who’s your daddy?”
One of the girls pulled a face and said, “Your poor dad”. Whip-smart Olivia deadpanned: “He’s not there!”
Give this woman her own show! Oh, they already did…
Olivia Meets Her Match continues every Sunday at 10pm on ITVBe
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