It’s no secret EastEnders isn’t in the best shape of its life.
Ratings have plummeted, storylines are listless and you’d be hard pushed to recognise half the Square these days.
But we reckon there are a few simple ways to help save the show – and new boss Chris Clenshaw should listen up.
Step 1: Kill the deadwood
Normally we wouldn’t suggest EastEnders has anything to learn from Hollyoaks but these are desperate times.
The Channel 4 soap has been notoriously ruthless in years gone by in getting rid of its cast in great swathes.
Read more: Where is Libby Fox in EastEnders? What is actress Belinda Owusu up to?
Fires, explosions, floods have all claimed multiple lives – and it’s time for EastEnders to do the same.
Some characters need to go – time to get ruthless. Sorry Billy Mitchell – but it’s time.
Step 2: Story, story, story
Things haven’t quite hit the lows of bin-gate – but they are pretty dire in EastEnders at the moment.
A surrogate pregnancy, a blast from the past and a gifted child with a pushy mother – how thrilling.
What Walford is missing is one big storyline to bring together everyone on the Square.
The fire was a dud, let’s face it. Pull out all the stops, bosses.
Step 3: Use Janine Butcher
Fans have wanted her back for years – and she’s finally back.
So far she’s pretended to be a doctor, gone to work at the Vic and started selling stolen cars.
It’s hardly the high stakes drama Janine could carry off.
Give her an affair with Kheerat, a war with Suki, a clash with Sharon – something, anything.
Just make it worth it.
Step 4: Stop Gray Atkins
When the Gray and Chantelle abuse storyline started, it was full of promises to raise awareness of domestic abuse.
Now it’s a sensationalist and pointless serial killer storyline dependant on viewers ignoring reality.
Three deaths in and it’s verging on offensive, but one thing is clear – Gray needs to go.
But he isn’t the kind of villain you lock up to prove a point – he’s one that has to die.
He is too far gone – so kill him off and get a proper serial killer in.
Step 5: Bring back Ronnie and Roxy
The rot truly began in Walford when the ridiculous decision to kill off the Mitchell sisters was allowed to be taken.
They needed to be rested, not drowned – and the show has to fix it.
Read more: Has Rose Ayling-Ellis left EastEnders for good? The truth behind her exit
Dirty Den and Kathy Beale have both cheated death – and it’s time for the two powerhouses to do the same and come back.
However, without them, Albert Square is doomed.
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