Soaps

Kirsty-Leigh Porter posts heartbreaking message following the death of her baby

She shared her feelings in the hope of helping others

Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter has shared an emotional message following the tragic loss of her baby.

Kirsty-Leigh opened up in a heartfelt Instagram message about her daughter, Penny-Leigh, who was stillborn in December.

She explained that she was reaching out to give strength to others but that her heart will “never be whole again”.

The 29-year-old began by writing: “I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is… I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels.”

Her message was heartbreaking (Credit: @kirststarburst Instagram)

She added that she was posting with “strength” in the belief that her little one and other stillborn babies will not be “forgotten”.

Kirsty-Leigh then continued by sharing the letter she wrote to Penny-Leigh after she lost her.

It began: “My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms.”

View this post on Instagram

I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is… I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼 My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT #stillborn #angelbaby

A post shared by Kirsty-Leigh Porter ☮️♑️💟 (@kirststarburst) on

She continued: “But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone.”

Kirsty revealed her daughter was born 11 weeks early in December.

She shared a picture of her hand and footprints on Instagram and wrote alongside: “💔 Our beautiful baby girl, Penny-Leigh Barber was born sleeping on the 21st of December 2018 at 6.49am, 29 weeks & 3 days young. My heart has never felt pain like it. Sleep sweetly our angel. We will always love you. Love your Mummy & Daddy 💔 My Everything 💔.”

Read more: Holly Willoughby forced to miss This Morning due to ill health

Fans rushed to send messages of support to Kirsty-Leigh and her fiancé Paul after her latest post.

One wrote: “Heartbroken for you both.”

A second commented: “That’s beautiful @kirststarburst. Genuinely so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how your feeling. But I’m sure your little penny-Leigh will always be proud of her mummy and daddy. #RIP #angelbaby👼 😢xx.”

They have been together for three years (Credit: @kirststarburst Instagram)

Read more: Katie Price ‘goes on emotional final holiday with terminally-ill mum’

Another fan wrote: “😢😢😢 much love to u and your family! Your precious Angel will always be in your heart xxx.”

A third added: “Sending love and strength for you 💗.”

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Aaliyah Ashfield
Digital Marketing Apprentice

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