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Wednesday 15th July 2020

Hollyoaks' Kirsty-Leigh Porter shares heartbreaking message on her stillborn daughter's first birthday

Penny-Leigh remains the 'biggest part' of her life

Actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter, who plays Leela Lomax in Hollyoaks, has posted a heartbreaking tribute to her baby on what would have been the little one's first birthday.

The soap star's daughter, Penny-Leigh, was tragically stillborn in December last year.

Taking to Instagram in the early hours of Sunday (22.12.19) morning, Kirsty-Leigh posted two pics from last year and told her followers that although her daughter was only here for a short time, she remains the "biggest part" of her life.

Read more: Kirsty-Leigh Porter reveals "struggle" on what would have been her still-born daughter's due date

One of the pictures is from a scan, while the other shows a card printed with two tiny footprints and other items from the day Penny-Leigh was born.

Kirsty-Leigh captioned the post, alongside a broken-heart emoji: "One years old you are today.

"30 years I've been on this earth and you were here for the tiniest bit of it but will remain the biggest part for the rest of it."

Her followers rushed to offer messages of support in the comments.

30 years I've been on this earth and you were here for the tiniest bit of it.

One said: "Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday, beautiful - one of many special occasions you will be missed by your mommy and family, sending hugs to you all."

Another wrote: "I'm so so sorry for your loss."

A third put: "Sending you the biggest hugs and kisses."

She posted about her loss on Instagram (Credit: Brett D. Cove / SplashNews.com)

Kirsty-Leigh revealed the death of her baby in January, when she shared an emotional message and explained that she was reaching out to give strength to others.

But the star said her heart will "never be whole again".

She wrote at the time: "I have been wondering whether I should post this or not... but here it is... I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels.

View this post on Instagram

I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is... I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼 My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT #stillborn #angelbaby

A post shared by Kirsty-Leigh Porter ☮️♑️💟 (@kirststarburst) on

Read more: Devastated Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter reveals daughter was stillborn

"My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it's no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms."

She later thanked Hollyoaks fans for their "love and support", following her return to the soap.

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