Taking to Instagram, the new mum shared an insightful post into the mental health struggles she has had to cope with over the past few months since giving birth to her son.
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I want to talk a bit about mental health in pregnancy/new mums. we are currently in the month 4 sleep regression.. a couple of weeks and we should be out of it,but my god it’s been tough. And I have definitely struggled mentally. My god I love him! He’s such a happy baby.. he’s funny! he doesn’t cry often.. he’s as good as gold when we take him somewhere. but at night? It’s like I gave birth to the Tasmanian devil! 😂 Last night was amazing. I got 4 solid hours.. a quick dream feed then a couple more.. and so on. but Saturday night was horrendous. There was a lot of tears mainly from me. I’m shattered. Exhausted actually.. I don’t want sympathy .. I know it will get easier and this is just a phase.. that’s not why I’m writing this.. I’m writing it for other mums/parents who feel alone, desperate, feel like they can’t cope at 4 am when their baby just won’t go to sleep, for the ones who woke up in tears this morning wondering how you will get through the day. For the single parents, for the mums who think, what am I doing wrong? Why every time I put him back in his crib does he just wake up? You pick them up, you start again, you put them down, you get 40 mins and then they wake up again. And then .. maybe like me.. they end up in bed with you! I need/want to have more patience.. I don’t want to have dark thoughts.. I don’t want to want to bang my head against the wall.. but.. sleep deprivation is real. And it’s tough. Maybe you’re reading this thinking.. “glad my baby isnt like this “ or.. “My baby sleeps straight through” If this is you.. I salute you! Well done – That’s amazing! But for lots of us..that just isn’t the case. Every baby is different.. everyone’s circumstances are different. There needs to be more honesty where pregnancy and motherhood are concerned…it’s ok to ask for help.. it’s ok to admit you struggle at times.. you do NOT need to pretend you’re ok when you’re not. If your mental health is suffering.. tell someone. Try and get out and meet other mums if you can. By me writing all this down, it helps me too.. we must support each other. It’s so important. And please.. remember to go easy on yourself. you’re doing a brilliant job!❤️
She said: “I want to talk a bit about mental health in pregnancy/new mums.”
Hayley then went on to explain that she is currently in the fourth month of ‘sleep regression’, but believes that within a couple of weeks her little boy should be out of it.
She wrote: “My god it’s been tough. And I have definitely struggled mentally.
“My god I love him! He’s such a happy baby…he’s funny! He doesn’t cry often.. he’s as good as gold when we take him somewhere. But at night? It’s like I gave birth to a Tasmanian devil!”
Hayley also explained that when her son fails to sleep, often she ends up in tears, but says that she realises it’s just a phase and things will get easier.
She said: “I’m writing for other mums/parents who feel alone, desperate, feel like they can’t cope at 4am when their baby just won’t go to sleep, for the one who woke up in tears this morning wondering how you will get through the day. For the single parents, for the mums who think, what am I doing wrong?”
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I love the mornings with jasper. He’s so happy when he wakes up. Almost like he’s completely unaware of the shit night we’ve both had!😂 If you’re a new parent reading this.. I just want to say.. YOU’RE DOING AMAZING! Because this stuff ain’t easy! Night times are hard right? For me it’s like the days roll into the night and I can’t wait for it to be the morning again!! “Is it wind? Is it his teeth? Should I feed him again? Why won’t he take a bottle? Why won’t he take a dummy?! Oh god he’s wet through his nappy again! “ 😭 But if I went on what I mostly see on social media.. I would be led to believe that everyone else’s baby is quite perfect and I must be doing something wrong. I’ve said it before but I think as a new mum I’ve found social media quite detrimental at times.. and have to keep reminding myself that everyone is different and no baby is perfect. Everyone has their own ups and downs it just depends if they want to show it or not. I still haven’t lost any baby weight and jasper is 3 months.. 🤪 I definately haven’t been to the gym.. firstly I’m not ready to leave him and secondly… I’m still not over my c section. Yep.. 3 months later and I’m still struggling with pain. The recovery is still tough. And I’m aware I may have many more months of this.. I have a scan next week which should shed some light on things. I’m putting it down to age! I’m 43 in 10 days …. but sadly my body feels like it’s 83!! 🥴 Which is hard for me to take as before I got pregnant I was in the gym 5 days a week and felt so fit!! I just wanna be real with you all.. tell it how it is.. and to say to any new mum that May be struggling.. JUST DO YOU! do what’s best for YOU. not what you read.. not what you see.. not what you think you SHOULD be doing.. do what works for you . And don’t be too hard on yourself! Being a parent is a full time job and it’s ok to moan and rant and cry if you want to.. (my poor Ade!) but after you’ve done that.. pat yourself on the back and say WELL DONE ME! Because that little baby thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread! That little baby loves you completely and thinks you’re doing an amazing job! And you are!! 💖💖💖
She added: “I need/want to have more patience… I don’t want to have dark thoughts…I don’t want to bang my head against the wall…but sleep deprivation is real and it’s tough.”
A number of fans commented on her photo in a show of support.
One said: “What a lovely message to others…hopefully someone will breathe a sigh of relief going through this tough stage with their little one.”
Another praised her for talking openly about mental health, saying: “We need more people to be honest about this. Sleep deprivation is horrible and it really affects mental health.”
Hayley, who gave birth to her first son, Jasper in October last year, often shares insights into parenthood on her Instagram account.
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