Celebs Go Dating agent Anna Williamson has revealed her struggle with motherhood following a dramatic labour.
Anna's son, Vincenzo, is now two-and-a-half and in a new interview she's opened up about her difficulties.
Speaking to Fabulous Digital Anna told how she hadn't imagined anything would go wrong when she gave birth, but that quickly changed.
"In the end I had a 40-hour labour which ended in a forceps delivery and I lost two litres of blood. I was totally traumatised by the whole experience and saw all my plans for a serene birth go out of the window."
I had terrible post birth trauma and felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet.AView this post on Instagram
**WHAT A DIFFERENCE 2 YEARS MAKES** I have apologise in advance for lots of schmaltzy posts today, but my goodness, I’m feeling more than a little reflective. Two years ago today, in a clinical operating theatre (not quite the hippy birthing pool I’d hoped for) this picture was taken. Today is my sons 2nd birthday 🎂 Two years ago I described this as the worst ‘best’ day of my life. Worst because not least it bloody hurt, best because I birthed a terrific human being. I’m smiling but it’s masking a terrified, traumatised, overwhelmed little girl. Post natal depression is a be-atch, but you know what, as un-fun as my labour and birth experience was, flipping heck, I’d do it all over again ten times to have this little boy 😍 (and I NEVER thought I’d say that!) It definitely took a while for me to get the hang of motherhood, to feel that fabled gut wrenching love 💕, and to navigate the stormy (often crippling) waters of post natal mental health. But here we are. A family of 3...and two years in we have learnt to ride the waves of competitive tiredness, I have managed my mental health challenges well (most of the time), but most of all I’ve learnt how to love parenting. And I mean REALLY love it. We’ve found our groove. Anyone experiencing #postnataldepression #birthtrauma #ptsd #postnatalanxiety hang in there my friend....the sunny days WILL take over the dark days. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Happy birthday my darling Vincenzo George - the clichéd comments that I didn’t believe at first really are true....you’re TOTALLY worth it...and when the love bug bites, it bites hard 💞and I thank God everyday it did. Ps nice hair @papa_dipaz 😉 love you baby - A-Team let’s go 😘 #breakingmumanddad #myboyis2 #parenting #maternalmentalhealth #pnd #anxiety #birthtrauma #lightattheendofthetunnel #love #family
As she found it hard to adjust, Anna says she found the pressure overwhelming.
"All anyone was doing around me was banging on about how happy I must be, I was in shock, I was exhausted, in an awful lot of pain and I wanted everyone including the baby to [bleep] off and leave me alone so I could get well."
She went on to add: "I had terrible post birth trauma and felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet. Everything I knew was turned on its axis."
View this post on Instagram
She revealed the 10 days after giving birth was when she found herself at her lowest ebb.
After 18 years working for her career, she found herself feeling "very guilty and very de-skilled" as she knew "nothing" about being a mum.
View this post on Instagram
But Anna says she feels "so much more confident" now and she's even written a book about her battle.
Breaking Mum and Dad: The Insiders Guide to Parenting Anxiety was published in 2018 and Anna hosts a podcast with the same title.
And Anna and her husband Alex Di Pasquale haven't ruled out having another baby themselves, but insist they're just going "with the flow".
Did you have a traumatic labour? Leave us a comment on our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix and let us know what you think.