There are some soap characters who we’d presume would survive an apocalypse – or the soap equivalent, a huge fire or a tram slamming into a wine bar etc.
Ken Barlow, say, from Corrie or Zack Dingle from Emmerdale. Bloody Dev would surely survive anything.
And Phil Mitchell has got to up there too, as someone who surely can’t ever die because, er, he’s Phil Mitchell. Who else would be able to punch way above his weight with women, neck vodka like it’s water and snarl at anyone who crossed his path?
So the news that it could be actual Phil Mitchell who dies in next week’s massive EastEnders gas explosion week is a bit of a major revelation.
Here are the clues that it’s Phil that’s the soap goner:
Firstly, The Sun have got hold of a picture of Phil lying unconscious in bin bags and covered by rubble and dirt. (But hey, on the other hand, that’s sometimes what Phil calls ‘Tuesday night’)
Secondly, his family will realise that he’s missing, alongside Stacey. OH GOD NOT STACEY. No-one in their right mind is thinking of killing off Stacey, surely?
Thirdly, we already know that someone’s going to die. And for a soap event this big it’s likely to be someone major.
The gas explosion will happen at the Walford In Bloom event, which, er, seems totally up Phil’s street. You know Phil, he loves a well-arranged dahlia.
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“It’s a bold stunt and has taken months of planning,” a source told The Sun when the trailer was revealed.
“It’ll trigger a load of other storylines off the back of it, but the explosion itself will be a major talking point.
“Viewers will be left wondering whether it was set off on purpose or by accident, and bosses are staying tight-lipped about who will die but at least one is looking like they will.
“Fans will be hoping it’s not one of their favourites who is being killed off.”
The major Enders week – thank god for that, we’re in a post Celeb Big Brother what now? telly void – will also see other plots come to their conclusions, with Max Branning’s dodgy scams revealed and – finally – the revelation that Steven doesn’t actually have cancer at all coming out.
That AND Bake Off in one week. We’re going to survive in a post-CBB world after all.