Roxanne Pallett "didn't want to be here anymore" following her controversial appearance on Celebrity Big Brother last year.
The former Emmerdale actress accused housemate Ryan Thomas of hitting her but admitted she'd made a "horrible mistake" after leaving the show, and the subsequent backlash saw her sink so low, she considered taking her own life and even wrote farewell notes to her loved ones.
She told The Sun: "My mum noticed I was losing weight and saw I was losing my hair. And my two friends, the only friends I had left, mentioned how erratic my texts were becoming. They all stepped in."
Noting that the lead up to Christmas was hard for her and she felt there "was no point in even trying anymore", Roxanne decided to say goodbye to her family.
"I sent a message to my mum, my aunty and my two friends," she continued. "I was saying sorry and goodbye. They all panicked, called each other and my mum left work to rush and get to me."
I was saying sorry and goodbye.
Roxanne's loved ones intervened and sent her for "urgent help" and she has undergone therapy after being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) stemming from issues in her past including an abusive relationship and the suicide of a friend.
The 36-year-old actress - who didn't leave the house for weeks because of the abuse she received in the street - admitted she "lost everything" following the scandal but she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her.
She added to the publication: "I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me, because it's my fault, 100%. I take full responsibility. But like everyone who makes a mistake I just want to be allowed to learn from it and move forward because nobody can punish me more than me."
Roxanne emerged in public for the first time last week. She looked downcast as she went about her business in Manchester.
It was revealed recently that she and her fiancé Lee Walton, who had pledged to stand by her after the scandal, has split up.
Roxanne told the paper that they'd actually ended things a while ago and although she didn't want to talk about it out of respect for him, she wished him well.
Roxanne's last interview was with CBB host Emma Willis who gave her a grilling over her behaviour in the house.
Emma told her: "Can you imagine if those cameras hadn't been there? You would have ruined somebody."
Roxanne replied: "I feel devastated. It cripples me with embarrassment and shame that I could have put somebody in that position."
But despite insisting she'd handled it badly and breaking down in tears, Emma pointedly removed her ear piece and ended the interview.
Most recently Roxanne has appeared on Celebrity Coach Trip alongside George Sampson. It was filmed before she went into the CBB house.
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