The grown-up thing to do when your partner breaks up with you, even in unpleasant manner, is to walk away in a dignified manner, head held high.
Drink enough wine to fill the Red Sea, wail along to Bridget Jones every night for three months, subsist on a diet of Babybel and Haribo... but don't let them see you upset.
That's the ideal... in reality you'll probably send a few humiliating drunken texts, perhaps turn up at their local.
Or... OR... you might plump for full-on revenge to push you through the touch patch. Just like lovers scorned calling into This Morning did.
One caller's tale of revenge in particular had presenters Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley retching.
Amy revealed that she rubbed chilli peppers all over her cheating ex’s toilet roll and put laxatives in his protein milkshake powder.
But there was worse to come. Rebecca explained how her husband changed all the locks to the house when they were in the process of separating, so she shoved a hosepipe through their cat-flap and flooded the joint.
Grosser still, another female caller admitted that she had cleaned the toilet with her partner's toothbrush "and there were some lumpy bits in there".