A mum has asked whether it’s okay to remove another mother from their antenatal WhatsApp group because she hasn’t been posting anything for months.
The group chat was set up a year ago and includes new mothers who became close at the regular antenatal classes.
All of the women use the group chat to share photos and updates on their little ones, however, one mum hasn’t posted in the group for a while and didn’t even post to say her baby had been born.
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But, the woman still opens and reads all the messages, which is apparently making the other members feel uncomfortable.
Taking to Mumsnet for advice, the woman wrote: “Over a year ago I set up a WhatsApp group for my antenatal group mums (plus a couple of other local mums got added at some point as they didn’t have a group).
“One of the original group called B added a couple of messages early on, but since then hasn’t said anything. B didn’t announce her baby’s birth, she hasn’t commented on anything else people have said in nearly a year and she’s never come to a meet-up.
“At least one other mum A messaged her privately after a few months but got no reply. One of the other mums C pointed out to me that she’s been reading the messages; I checked and sure enough they each show as read by her.
“So she’s been reading thousands and thousands of messages, looking at our baby photos, seeing when we catch up, but not responding. C said she also messaged B privately to ask if she was ok, but got no reply. C said it was weeks before so could I try; I messaged B. She read it and no reply.
“If she didn’t want to be in the group then she could leave, or mute the notifications. We don’t know if something happened to her baby, or if she moved away, or if she has PND, or if she just doesn’t like us; the confusing bit with any explanation we can think of is why read the messages?
“The idea of effectively a stranger reading everything and seeing photos is weird now that we’ve all known each other over a year!
“If she replied now we’d be happy to welcome her to the group, but she isn’t even responding to individual messages.
“Should we ask her if she wants to be removed from the group as she isn’t responding to messages? Should we remove her? Just leave it? Anyone have an idea of an amazing message to send to get her to let us know if she’s ok?”
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Fellow mums offered the woman advice.
One person said: “Me and my friends had someone who did this, she always knew what we were up to but never replied. It was weird so we removed her.”
Another wrote: “Just remove her now and let her come to you if she thinks she should be in.”
However, a third added: “I LOVE being a silent person in a group. Like you get all the best gossip and don’t have to participate.”
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