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Mum sparks huge debate about husband taking their daughter to a ladies’ loo

Who was in the right?

Once kids reach a certain age, it’s fine to send them off into public loos by themselves – but what about that awkward stage where they’re not toddlers any more but still need chaperoning?

A Mumsnet user had this exact scenario play out recently, when her “DH” (that’s Darling Husband, in Mumsnet-ese) took their four-year-old daughter out for the day.

User AdaHopper wrote: “Help dh and I with a disagreement please.

“When dd [darling daughter] needs the loo in a public place, he takes her to the ladies’ loos. I told him that women don’t like that and he should take her to the men’s loo. Aibu [am I being unreasonable] or is he?”

The innocent question sparked a wave of conversation, with fierce debate on both sides.

Some spoke out passionately against her husband’s action saying that men should not be in the ladies’ loos for any reason.

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But others reckoned a ladies’ bathroom was a much more appropriate place for a young girl to use the toilet.

One user replied: “He is. I’ve never seen a man do this before… ever.”

And another wrote: “He is out of order… At four she is going to have to go in the men’s. Best thing is to find a nicer one?”

However, not everyone was on the mum’s side, with some taking the view that overall it’s better for a four-year-old girl to be in the ladies’ than the gents.

One person wrote: “I understand the conflict, but I would rather a father in the ladies – individual cubicles – than a four year old girl being taken into the gents with no idea what she might see.”

Another commented: “Definitely prefer a young girl in the ladies than going into the men’s with open urinals.”

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The initial question now has nearly 500 responses from parents wading in with their thoughts on the matter.


Nancy Brown
Associate Editor