There are certain things that should never be done while naked… your first day in a new job… sawing down planks of wood… sex after a four-course Italian meal… And cooking. NEVER cooking.
Flames, hot liquids, sharp knives – the risks to one’s exposed and vulnerable flesh don’t bear thinking about.
Not that any of this put Jamie Oliver off – he built a career as the Naked Chef after all.
He had to learn the hard way why it’s such a health and safety no-no.
The mega-rich foodie told The Graham Norton Show how he injured his ‘baby maker’ while cooking for wife Jools in the buff.
He was, apparently, preparing a romantic dinner for Valentine’s Day – we suspect oysters might have been a more effective aphrodisiac than watching her hubby bend over butt-naked to open the over door.
But that’s just us!
Anyway, the couple never made it to ‘dessert’ that night, by the sound of things.
Jamie explains: “I was cooking naked at home while preparing a whole sea bass and I had a new, fan-assisted oven and when I opened the door a jet of hot steam attacked my manhood.
“It was a weird thing in life – the worst and best time in my life. Worst because the pain was so bad but best because my private parts expanded!”
He said: “Sadly it didn’t turn out to be the romantic night I had planned. I ended up sitting with some frozen Green Giant (corn) on my old fella!”
At least the chef had the good grace to apologise to his teenage daughters – Poppy Honey, 14, and Daisy Boo, 13 – after embarrassing them in front of millions.
Clearly it didn’t do any lasting damage, as Jamie is father to five kids – he and Jools welcomed a son just earlier this year.
The mega-rich chef also spoke about his struggle with dyslexia as a teenager, and said the first novel he was able to concentrate on was The Hunger Games.
That was pretty handy, as he was sitting beside the film’s lead actress, Jennifer Lawrence, when he relayed this.
“I loved it so much and just couldn’t wait for the next film so I bought the book,” he explained.
“Reading those was a big deal for me.”
The chef has dedicated his new book, titled Christmas Cookbook, to his grandmother and also said he has called off hosting Christmas Day at his house this year.
He explained: “I have hosted it for about a decade and the family has got bigger and bigger.
“This year it was going to be about 30-40 people but I’ve had a fifth child and worked hard all year so I have called it off. It went down pretty well with some people but not so well with others!”
The Graham Norton Show airs on BBC One tonight at 10.35pm.