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Sunday 26th January 2020

EOTB EXCLUSIVE! Georgina Leigh Cantwell: 'Ashley's DISGUSTING, he's not a badman but a wasteman!'

And there's the small matter of Gaz's manhood...

It's that time again! ED!'s Georgina Leigh Cantwell and her latest inimitable take on Ex on the Beach...

So, Jess is gone. Well! I had a load of respect for her until she launched at Jordan before leaving.

Anyone who goes on Ex on the Beach knows it's not for love, it's for six weeks of fun in the sun... or because you have really loose morals. The girl has to get some sass to be able to hold it down on EOTB!

Meanwhile, Gaz talking about his willy again - he is relentless about it. It's not an attractive trait to have a guy so cocky (excuse the pun) about the size of their weapon - and apparently his is one of mass destruction.

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However, a lady, as I, will not speak of the size of other men's willies being too big or not... Quality not quantity goes the saying; I think that applies here too?!!

As for Jemma's meltdown. YIKES!! I would be cringing if I were her parents, that was just really unstable behaviour!!!

Girls seem to think sex is revenge, but it isn't - they never get the last laugh when they play games like that. Guys know how to play the sex revenge game way better, girls just come out of it looking like a slag!

I think Jemma needs a strait jacket!!! (But so does Kayleigh. I should probably not say much about Kayleigh because she seems like a vindictive nasty little cow...)

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However, if I had an ex in the house that I was in love with (she can't have been in love with him to sh*g two of his mates...?) then maybe it would send ANYONE crazy, but does she have control issues?

She doesn't necessarily want him but she doesn't want anyone else to have him!

All those girl scraps! If a girl came at me... I've taken enough boxing lessons so have a pretty solid right hook!

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Anyways, I would probably never retaliate because then it would make me as bad as the girl that came at me. I don't think girl scraps are a regular thing in the real world, but they seem to be very regular on EOTB!!!

I don't think this gives off a good impression for the young girls watching it, they shouldn't see it as socially acceptable to react like that to other women.

Surely we should all empower each other, considering us women seem to have a multitude of insecurities from the way men are.

Onto Holly... Holly is Horny. Opening statement. I feel like there's a lot of acting with her, the way she was tilting her head on the sun-lounger and snapping at Kayleigh, but then again, I can't stand Kayleigh and I would have evicted her!!!

I almost wish Holly had Kayleigh eating the sand - Holly is the one who needs some boxing lessons. In fact if anyone reading this wants to apply for the show, I advise you to get some self-defence and boxing lessons!

Those two are both as bad as each other, and Holly has no respect for other women and how that would make her feel if it was done to her.

Jemma is just a little bat sh*t cray... She probably wouldn't have been this mental if it wasn't for Hawley.

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As for Ashley... his teeth, FOUL! He makes my m*nge turn inside itself, lock itself up and throw the key away.

Ashley got kicked off for his behaviour, why they risked having him back I'll never know. He is literally disgusting, beefy men aren't my type, his head is way too far up his own a**e, he thinks he's like some sort of badman.

He's a wasteman.

It was all quiet on the Jordan front. Thank God. They probably got sick of him constantly repeating himself about women and thought, 'He's not giving us much so let's cut him right down this episode'.

I'm sure he'll be back in next week's... still attempting to bed women and get a blozzer... and I say ATTEMPTING with emphasis.