An “upset” bride-to-be has begged for advice in the run up to her upcoming wedding.
In an emotional post, she pleaded with Mumsnet readers to be “gentle” with her as she explained her difficult predicament.
In the long post, the user – who calls herself KleverKate – explains that she wants to ask her step-dad to walk her up the aisle and NOT her biological father.
She goes on to describe her close relationship with her step-dad, while her ‘real’ one has repeatedly let her down since he left the family home when she was seven.
The thread, posted today (Wednesday 2 January), has already received dozens of replies – all in support of the woman breaking with tradition and asking her step-dad to do the honours.
She started the post by saying: “I need a bit of outside perspective, as I’m really upset about the situation so be gentle.
“I don’t have the best relationship with my biological dad. We saw him at best two times a year from the age of seven onwards (24 now) and he’s never really bothered with us.”
She went on to say that “he’s never really contributed to mine and my brother’s upbringing and my mum has had to deal with a lot on her own”.
KleverKate describes how her father has remarried and lives with his new wife’s two sons, rarely visiting and even refusing to visit her in three of her previous homes since leaving home at age 21.
Despite the bride and groom-to-be having been together for five years, her birth father has only met him four times.
“We’re not important anymore,” she reveals. “He even sent us a letter at one point when I was 11 and my brother was 14 saying as much that we need to accept the fact that he’s moved on with his life.”
Admitting that the situation has caused her “upset and heartbreak”, she even describes the last time they saw him on Boxing Day when they didn’t get given a gift or even offered a drink.
That alongside not receiving any birthday gifts…
However, in comparison, her step-dad has been with her mother for nearly 10 years and has “bent over backwards for us [and] would literally do anything for us and treats us like his own”.
She adds: “I see him as more of a dad than my dad. He has literally treated us like his own kids.
“I want to show him how grateful I am by asking him to walk me down the aisle.”
Those who read the post flooded worried KleverKate with reassuring messages, urging her to ask her step-dad down the aisle.
One wrote: “Honestly, in your position, I would have cut my dad off years ago. Let your Stepdad walk you down the aisle […], don’t spend any Christmasses with him or his side again. Family aren’t the people we share blood or genetics with, family are the people who give a damn about us.”
Another added: “Definitely have you step-dad walk you down the aisle. He may not be your father by blood but he is your real dad in every other sense.”
A third said: “Choose your dad, the one who has loved you, cared and looked after you. Not the one who shares your DNA and manipulates you even at your wedding. No real dad would ever pay out money with such appalling conditions attached. Get rid of the dead wood and his money and have a lovely day with your proper family.”
Readers were also horrified that the biological dad had agreed to pay for the honeymoon and flights, but ‘with strings’ – only if they went on the honeymoon as well!
We hope KleverKate makes the right decision for her…
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