Just when we thought Love Island couldn’t shock us anymore – pregnancy scares! Surprise evictions! The percentage of bikinis with no bum cheeks in! – Friday night’s episode came along and knocked the others right out of the water.
With a hot new girl, a couple of hot new guys and one awesome recoupling, no-one played it remotely safe, which made everyone in the villa furious/ everyone at home happy.
Instead, everyone was grafting, loads of people looked muggy, people were 100% each other’s types on paper – we mean, this was classic Love Island.
People were putting their eggs in all kinds of different baskets too so obviously, it all kicked off.
New boy Jamie ‘I like books’ Jewitt picked Camilla – that was fine, no-one kicked off about that, in fact the nation whooped – but after that things got messy.
When it came to new boy Theo’s turn, he chose Tyla, which nearly made Jonny explode with rage and carry Tyla off over his shoulder, beating his chest and demanding now anyone speak to him before they were allowed to speak to Tyla because that is how life works in 2017. Sure Jonny, sure.
When it came to Jonny’s turn to recouple, he chose Amber because, er, there was only Amber left, and stood up to call Theo a bell end.
“I’d like to couple up with this girl because I wasn’t given a lot of choice because of a certain gigantic bell end…” he said before Theo jumped out of his seat and said: “Mate, who are you calling a bell end?”
Jamie and others tried to calm things down but producers aren’t taking any chances about round two kicking off soon.
Instead they have enlisted round-the-clock security, who are on standby to enter the villa if anything happens.
A source told the Daily Star Sunday: “Producers want to make sure everyone in the villa is kept safe.
“It is understood there will be rows between contestants but a physical fight won’t be tolerated. If things get too heated, security reps will storm in and put a stop to it.”
There is another feud brewing in the villa too of course, after new girl Georgia-ex-TOWIE coupled up with Kem, despite him being Amber’s actual boyfriend.
Georgia – who used to date Lewis Bloor – tried to speak to Amber afterwards, but Amber barked at her: “Don’t even speak to me.”
“That’s a bit rude,” Georgia said.
“You’re rude!” shouted Amber, who only started dating Kem officially this week. “If anyone’s a bell end it’s you babe!”
To be honest, does anyone else think Amber Davies on the rampage would be way scarier than Jonny? We’d refocus your attentions, if we were you producers…