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Thursday 12th December 2019

Is it wrong to feel disappointed about the gender of your child?

It sparked a HUGE response

Loose Women tackled a sensitive topic on Thursday by debating what's known as gender grief.

For those unfamiliar with the term, it apparently refers to parents feeling disappointed when the sex of their child isn't what they wanted.

A poll run by Loose Women discovered that 23 per cent of respondents had felt disappointed at their baby's sex.

Well, it sparked a HUGE debate among the panel and viewers.

Nadia said her sister experienced gender grief (Credit: ITV)

Nadia Sawalha said she personally thought every child was a "blessing" but she also understood the grief if you'd got it in your head you were having one sex or the other.

Jane Moore, however, said that was the problem: never set yourself up to want one gender over another.

Read more: Are men more selfish than women?

"One of the women interviewed for our poll said she was adamant she was having a girl," said Jane.

"She decorated the nursery for a girl and was setting herself up for a fall.

"I was just glad to get pregnant at 42 - it was a miracle - and the fact it was another girl was neither here nor there. It was great."

Jane said she was just happy to get pregnant at 42 and gender didn't matter (Credit: ITV)

Nadia shared the story of her sister, saying she wanted a girl and was "devastated" to find out she was expecting a boy.

"My sister had her first child, a boy, then when she was pregnant a second time she wanted a girl," said Nadia.

"She decided quite late on she would check [the sex] and it was revealed to be a boy. She was devastated. She wanted a girl so badly. But she said it was really good she had the test as she was able to prepare.

Maybe that's old fashioned but I feel so many people can't have children that if you're lucky enough to have them, be grateful for what you get.

"Of course, he came and he's the absolute love of her life and a beautiful child, but she feels if she'd found out the sex in the delivery room, she could have gone into a depression."

Anne has five sons (Credit: ITV)

Rebecca Ferguson agreed, saying: "I personally think you should be happy with what you're given. Maybe that's old fashioned but I feel so many people can't have children that if you're lucky enough to have them, be grateful for what you get."

Anne Diamond was well-equipped to discuss the topic given she's a mum to five boys.

She said: "I was thrilled every time and it actually got more exciting each time, the idea of having this troupe of boys.

Rebecca said every child is a blessing (Credit: ITV)

"But if you'd assured me I would have a girl, then I'd have had a sixth because it would be lovely to have a daughter. There's a lovely thing mums have with daughters they don't have with sons.

"I love my sons to bits, I have a wonderful relationship with them and adore them, but a daughter would be lovely."

Naturally, the debate sparked plenty of discussion at home as well.

There were many viewers who said parents should just be happy they're able to have a child and the sex isn't important.

Other viewers, meanwhile, posted to the Loose Women Facebook page that nobody should be judged for gender grief.

One wrote: "I absolutely cannot stand judgmental people who tell others how they should think and feel.

"Just because you’re disappointed that your baby is not the sex you hoped for doesn’t mean you love them any less. And it has absolutely no bearing on women who can’t have kids."

The subject sparked huge debate (Credit: ITV)

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Another viewer said: "I was openly upset that I was disappointed that we were having a boy. I cried at the gender scan and asked the woman to double check.

"I had visions of my daughter having a close relationship with her as I do my sister. I dreamt about matching outfits and listening to them giggling in bunk beds at night time. "Safe to say, my son arrived and we're so in love and wouldn't change him for the world. "Our family is now complete, 1 girl 1 boy = perfection."