Carol Vorderman has revealed she didn’t cry after her mum Jean’s death last year.
Appearing on Monday’s Lorraine, Carol said she didn’t understand why she didn’t shed any tears seeing as she “adored the ground” her mum walked on.
But Carol, 57, said in the build up to the first anniversary since her mum passed away, she spent the day crying.
Read more: Carol Vorderman delights fans with ‘stunning’ appearance at Trooping the Colour 2018
Carol told host Lorraine Kelly: “Whenever anybody said to me when she was alive, ‘what are you going to do when your mum eventually passes away?’ and I said, ‘I can’t talk about it because she’s going to live forever.’
“So why, when it happened I just didn’t cry. I don’t really think about her. It can’t just be me who goes through it.”
The star continued: “I loved her. We could not have a closer bond. I adored the ground she walked on. So why is it that it just hasn’t come?
“I don’t understand it.”
Carol admitted she felt angry at one point after her mum’s death however she doesn’t know the reason why.
The presenter said the emotion hit her just two weeks ago when she was thinking about the anniversary of her death.
She explained: “Two weeks ago when I was thinking about the anniversary of her death it hit me like a wave I couldn’t stop crying for a day, it’s like a tsunami of grief that came at me.
“Then it just stopped and I woke up the next morning and carried on.”
Carol said she now feels like she has a “freedom” that she didn’t have before.
She said: “I have a freedom that I didn’t have before but it was a joy to look after her. She was my every day.”
Meanwhile in the chat, Carol reflected on her “truly unique relationship” with her mum, who passed away from cancer.
Carol said her mum walked away from her father just two weeks after giving birth and they had many years of struggling to get by.
The star revealed: “We were dirt poor, so my mum and I shared a bed until I was 9, my father used to come and never say that I was his child.
“Then I got to 21 and my mum was in her 50s. She was living in student digs in Windsor and I was living out of a car, so I said let’s go live in Leeds.”
Carol said she then took responsibility for her mum, employed her when she was 25 and they lived together up until her death.
Don’t miss out: Three steps to ensure you see all ED!’s latest news on Facebook